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True love is learning to accept each other’s short comings, giving and taking, being responsible towards one another and learning to be contented with the mundance routine of everyday life together.

True love is being able to overlook the changes that occur in your spouse through the years. Your wife hourglass figure may be replaced with pear-shaped one, and your husband’s athletic built may give way to a large potbelly. Wrinkles will line faces and hairlines will recede drastically.

But at the end of it all, when good health and vigour are replaced with ailments and sickness, if both of you are still together, this spells true love.

After all, it is not how good you start off but how you end your days as husband and wife that really matters.

I wish that everyone of us will have this kind of thinking.

Tribute to : drjohn blog.thestar.com.my

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a
common question.
She said,"How do I know if I married the right
person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to
her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"
In all seriousness, she answered "How do you
know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances
are good that it’s
weighing on your mind. Here’s the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning,
you fell in love with
your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted
their touch, and liked
their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In
fact, it was a
completely natural and spontaneous experience.

You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s
called "falling" in
love… Because it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my
feet." Think about the
imagery of that _expression. It implies that you
were just standing
there; doing nothing, and then something came
along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It’s a passive and
spontaneous experience. But
after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love
fades. It’s the
natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but
surely, phone calls
become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not
always welcome (when
it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies,
instead of being cute,
drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every
relationship, but if you
think about your marriage, you will notice a
dramatic difference between
the initial stage when you were in love and a much
duller or even angry
subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start
asking, "Did I marry
the right person?" And as you and your spouse
reflect on the euphoria of
the love you once had, you may begin to desire
that experience with
someone else. This is when marriages breakdown.
People blame their
spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their
marriage for
fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and
sizes. Infidelity is
the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to
work, a hobby, a
friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this
dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It
lies within it. I’m not
saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone
else. You could.

And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be
in the same situation a
few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS
NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S
LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU
FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous
experience. It’ll NEVER
just happen to you. You can’t "find" LASTING love.
You have to "make" it
day in and day out. That’s why we have the
_expression "the labor of
love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy.
And most importantly,
it takes WISDOM.
You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your
marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery.
There are specific
things you can do (with or without your spouse) to
succeed with your
marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe
(such as gravity), there
are also laws for relationships. Just as the right
diet and exercise
program makes you physically stronger, certain
habits in your
relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s
a direct cause and
effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results
are predictable…
you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"… Not just
a feeling.

Melalui emel, seorang wanita bertanya apakah keturunan menyumbang perihal jodoh. Kakaknya sudah berumur 35 tahun masih belum berkahwin. Usianya sendiri sudah 25 tahun dan masih belum punya teman."

Tidak, jodoh tiada kaitan dengan keturunan. Hanya belum sampai masanya. Ia bagai menanti jambatan untuk ke seberang. Kalau panjang jambatannya jauhlah perjalanan kita.

Ada org jodohnya cepat sebab jambatannya singkat. Usia 25 tahun rasanya belumlah terlalu lewat. Dan usia 35 tahun belum apa2 kalau sepanjang usia itu telah digunakan untuk membina kecemerlangan. Nyatakanlah perasaan dan keinginan anda itu dalam doa2 lewat sembahyang. Allah maha mendengar.

Wanita baik untuk lelaki yang baik, sebaliknya wanita jahat untuk lelaki yang jahat. Biar lambat jodoh asalkan mendapat Mr Right dan biar seorang diri drp menjadi mangsa lelaki yang tidak beriman kemudian nanti.

Memang kita mudah tersilap mentafsir kehidupan ini. Kita selalu sangka, aku pasti bahagia kalau mendapat ini. Hakikatnya, apabila kita benar2 mendapat apa yang kita inginkan itu, ia juga dtg bersama masalah. Kita selalu melihat org memandu kereta mewah dan terdetiklah di hati kita, bahagianya org itu. Hakikatnya apabila kita sendiri telah memiliki kereta mewah kita ditimpa pelbagai kerenah. Tidak mustahil pula org yang memandu kereta mewah (walaupun sebenarnya tak mewah) terpaksa membayar lebih tatkala berhenti untuk membeli durian di tepi jalan. Orang lain membeli dengan harga biasa, dia terpaksa membayar berlipat ganda.

Ketika anda terperangkap dalam kesesakan jalan raya, motosikal mencelah-celah hingga mampu berada jauh di hadapan. Anda pun mengeluh, alangkah baiknya kalau aku hanya menunggang sebuah motosikal seperti itu dan cepat sampai ke tempat yang dituju. Padahal si penunggang motosikal mungkin sedang memikirkan bilakah dia akan memandu kereta di tgh2 bandar raya.

Bukan semua yang anda sangka membahagiakan itu benar2 membahagiakan. Bahagianya mungkin ada tapi deritanya juga datang sama. Semua benda, pasti ada baik buruknya. Demikian juga perkahwinan. Ia baik sebab ia dibenarkan oleh agama, sunnah Nabi, sebagai saluran yang betul untuk melepaskan shahwat di samping membina sahsiah dan sebagainya, tapi ia juga buruk sebab ramai org yang berkahwin hidupnya semakin tidak terurus.

Ramai orang menempah neraka sebaik sahaja melangkahkan kaki ke alam berumahtangga. Bukankah dengan ijab dan Kabul selain menghalalkan hubungan kelamin, tanggungjawab yang terpaksa dipikul juga turut banyak? Bukankah apabila anda gagal melaksanakannya, anda membina dosa seterusnya jambatan ke neraka?

Berapa ramaikah yang menyesali perkahwinan masing2 padahal dahulunya mereka bermati-matian membina janji, memupuk cinta kasih malah ada yang sanggup berkorban apa sahaja asalkan segala impian menjadi nyata? Jika tidak sanggup untuk bergelar isteri tidak usah berkahwin dulu. Jika merasakan diri belum cukup ilmu untuk bergelar ibu ataupun ayah, belajarlah dulu. Jika rasa2 belum bersedia untuk bersabar dgn kerenah anak2, carilah dulu kesabaran itu. Jangan berkahwin dahulu sebab kenyataannya ramai yang tidak bersedia untuk melangkah tetapi telah melompat, akhirnya jatuh terjerumus dan tidak jumpa akar berpaut tatkala cuba mendaki naik.

Berkahwin itu indah dan nikmat bagi yang benar2 mengerti tuntutan2nya. Berkahwin itu menjanjikan pahala tidak putus2 bagi yang menjadikannya gelanggang untuk mengukuhkan iman, mencintai Tuhan dan menjadikan syurga sebagai matlamat. Berkahwin itu sempadan dari ketidaksempurnaan insan kepada kesempurnaan insan - bagi yang mengetahui rahsia2nya.

Berkahwinlah anda demi Tuhan dan Nabi-Nya, bukan berkahwin kerana perasaan dan mengikut kebiasaan. Jodoh usah terlalu dirisaukan, tiba masanya ia akan datang menjemput, namun perlu juga anda membuka lorong2nya agar jemputan itu mudah sampai dan tidak terhalang.

Wan, pinje deh ?

Ok let’s start blogging.